Healthy Boundaries: 5 Ways to Say No As A Nurse

As a nurse, your job is not always to say “yes.” When your own well-being comes second to your patients’ care, you need practical strategies to set direct and healthy boundaries. Because sometimes, saying “no” is actually saying “yes” to what care is needed most in the situation. 

Namely, by saying no, you are affirming your own self-care in a way that makes you feel like you matter too. This is too often forgotten in our hectic, go-go-go world. It is especially overlooked by nurses, who sometimes suffer from too much people-pleasing, or always saying yes to others.  

This blog will provide you with reasons why saying no is essential for nurses, how to overcome the fear of saying no, and 5 practical, direct and kind ways to say no professionally. Remember, saying no to others is oftentimes more about saying a needed yes to your own healthy boundaries.  

Setting Boundaries: Why Saying No is Essential for Nurses

Because of the nature of their job, nurses are often expected to go the extra mile for their patients. This can result in burnout or compromised patient care, an effective lose-lose for both the nurse and the patient. That’s why setting healthy boundaries is crucial for optimal care for both patients and nurses. 

Saying No to Burnout and Stress

Over 2/3rds of nurses report burnout in their career. Saying no to unreasonable demands and requests that go beyond the call of duty is a primary way of avoiding burnout. By maintaining healthy boundaries, you can ensure you can go the distance with optimal patient care and your own self preservation. 

Balancing Patient Care with Self-Care

Sometimes, self-care takes a backseat to that of your patients. In order to maintain a healthy work-life balance, nurses must make a habit of saying no to demands that leave them with nothing more to give. By maintaining these boundaries, nurses say yes to recharging self-care opportunities. This in turn gives them greater fortitude to return reenergized to provide quality patient care. 

Overcoming the Fear of Saying “No”

In a “yes,” can-do nursing culture, it is often challenging to punt and say no to pressures and expectations. But in order to provide optimal patient care, nurses cannot disqualify their own needs and interests. That means that nurses must face fears and insecurities about what a no actually means. 

It is best that nurses work to overcome their negative beliefs and guilt about the implications of saying no. In this way, they can build the self-confidence that their no doesn’t translate to inadequate patient care. In this way, nurses can empower themselves to prioritize their own needs when needed.

Challenging Negative Beliefs

Too often, nurses feel that patient care is compromised or somehow insufficient when they opt to set healthy boundaries. These negative beliefs wind up leaving nurses with nothing more to give, both to themselves and to the patients. By saying no, you are effectively setting healthy boundaries around preservation rather than being selfish. 

Building Self-Confidence

Building a habit of saying no when you need to will boost your self-confidence and give you the fuel you need to stay the course. Learning to say no is a long-game strategy. As such, it builds your confidence in the quality of your patient care and balances self-care with the demands of everyday patient care.

5 Direct and Kind Ways to Say No

Saying no is crucial for preserving your wellbeing and ability to provide quality care to patients. Here are some direct and professional ways you can say no to coworkers or others who are asking for your time or resource: 

Method 1: The Assertive "No"

Saying no is a complete sentence and it helps to render it in a calm and confident manner. So practice saying no in a way the others feel your certainty and that you still care. For example, here are some ways you can get the message across:

• “I understand you need help, but I'm unable to take on additional responsibilities at this time.”
• “I would love to, but my plate is really full right now.”
• “I would if I could, but I'm unable to help with that right now.”
• “Thank you so much for thinking of me. 'm overly committed already, perhaps in the future I can help you.”

Method 2: Offering Alternatives

Show that you are still invested in helping by providing alternative solutions. So, although you have to decline the request for support, you have suggestions for finding answers. For instance, you can say, “I can't take on that extra shift, but I can help you find someone who might be available." In this way, you maintain your own boundaries but also help out in discovering alternative solutions that make it a win-win.

Method 3: Setting Clear Expectations

Start the conversation where you anticipate a no by defining your limitations and expectations. For example, "I'm happy to help with patient care, but I need to prioritize my current assignments." You therefore clarify your position by asserting your limitations beforehand. As such, there is little room for misunderstandings or confusion. You also reduce the possibility for burnout from the outset.

Method 4: The Direct and Honest Approach

Be upfront and honest about why you’re saying no. For instance, "I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current workload and need to prioritize my patients." When you say this, you humanize your struggle and invite others to see you as someone who is doing their best to ensure your patients’ care. It also ensures that you are respecting yourself and others. 

Method 5: Practice Self-Care as a Form of "No"

Investing in self-care activities ensures that you are maintaining healthy boundaries to recharge and refresh so you can be a better asset to others. In this way, you are saying no to greater stress and keep burnout at bay. 

Remember that self-care is not selfish because it preserves you for better caring for the welfare of your patients. Be tactful, polite but firm when you decline to help out. Remember not to make up any excuses or apologize for needing time and space for yourself.

Maintaining Professional Relationships

Effective Communication

When asserting your no, remember to use “I” statements that do not sound blaming or accusatory. In this way, you can set clear boundaries while still maintaining your collegial relationships. Active listening is also essential to ensure you can find common ground. Clear communication goes a long way in not only protecting your boundaries but also your professional network.

Handling Guilt and Resentment

Guilt and resentment can often creep up and taint effective communication for when you’re setting boundaries and saying no. Remember to hold yourself in compassion for everything you do for your patients and your needs. 

Nurses have a heart of gold and they often go the extra mile almost as a job prerequisite. So temper that guilt and resentment by giving grace to all that you do and all that you actually want to do. Focus on the long-term benefits of setting boundaries for your good self-care and the betterment of your patients.

Seeking Support

Seek the support of friends, family, mentors and colleagues when you need it. Find loved ones and caring supporters who understand and empathize with the demands of nursing and affirm you as a contributor. Setting boundaries can be tough but it is worthwhile. Getting the help of others can be a game changer in your time of need. 

Conclusion: Say No To Say Yes To Your Own Best Care

Maintaining healthy boundaries can have a positive impact on both your personal and professional life. It is in your hands as a nurse to ensure that you maintain these boundaries in a way that preserves your self-care, quality patient care and professional relationships. By practicing saying no, you make investments in the long-game of your career as well. 

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